Sunday, March 17, 2019

Good Health Is Everything!

Sooooo, I will now attempt the impossible--to write a funny blog about my current health situation.  For those of you who live on Mars (or are not on Facebook), here is my current status.  I am in my 7th week of recovery, after having cracked my pelvis (in TWO places).  My best advice to those of you who have not been on this adventure--TRY TO AVOID IT AT ALL COST!  I had a followup ortho appointment a couple of weeks ago and was surprised to learn that my pelvic bone was halfway healed--turns out, that healing process takes about 3 to 6 months.  However, as of this past week, I have pretty much been able to walk on my own without the aid of the walker.  Granted, tho, I walk with a limp and very slowly at this point.  But, it feels like great progress.

 But, as one who is always seeking new adventures (some of you are laughing--those who know the previous statement to be a lie), recovering from the broken pelvis just wasn't quite enough misery.  The week before my pelvis accident, I had a mammogram for the first time in about 9 years.  I know, I know--don't even say it.  I am well aware of the importance of regular mammograms.  I have absolutely no good excuse for not following this very sound medical advice.  The very day following the pelvis incident, I got a voicemail from the Women's Imaging Center where I had the mammogram, asking me to call and make a follow-up appointment as the radiologist saw a suspicious spot on my left breast (I apologize to anyone reading who is embarrassed by the use of proper anatomical terms--get over it or stop reading).  A phone call that no woman wants to receive.  After a day or two of procrastination (and I do have a good excuse for that--I was in total misery with my pelvis), I finally called back and explained why I would not be able to come in for a while.  I have to tell you--the very idea at that point in time of having to stand (even had I been able to stand) in front of that torture device and have my boob squished as flat as a flitter was not the top item on my list of things I was dying to do!  Some women have told me that they have no pain when they get a mammogram (not the vast majority, mind you).  One was my own mother who probably wore an A cup size bra).  That has NEVER been the case for me.

Fast forward now to six weeks later, and I finally muster the guts to call back to the imaging center and make that followup appointment.  I learn that the followup will consist of an ultrasound-guided needle biopsy of the pea-sized lump in my breast.  Let me just say something here about needles.  I don't mind needles.  I have used them for many things in my life--sewing on buttons, cross-stitch projects, pricking a pimple.  But, when it comes to needles being inserted deep into my body--especially my boob, suddenly I am feeling very needle-averse!  But, I manned up, make the appointment, and show up on time this past Thursday.

 I had calmed down considerably since I first heard about the biopsy (had a few crying sessions initially).  By the way, are you laughing yet?  If not, I am not accomplishing what I set out to do here.  The ultrasound tech took me back to the room where the procedure would be performed.  Her job was to get me ready for the doctor--so as to not waste a minute of his time.  She did not actually say that, but it was obvious.  Finally, after several sweeps of the ultrasound device over my boob, she declared us ready and called the doctor.  He arrived fairly quickly and explained what he was going to do.  Essentially, deaden the tissue leading down to where the lump was located in prep for sticking the larger (I assume longer) needle that would actually remove the necessary sample from the lump.  And, just like that, the procedure began.  I had talked to several people who had also experienced a needle biopsy  Most assured me that it was a piece of cake.  I don't think they were needle averse like me.  In goes the needle, and I felt an immediate extreme stinging sensation.  That sensation continued for several minutes (maybe seconds--who knows--I was pretty keyed up at this point).  And, then the doctor announced that he was removing tissue and whatever from the lump!  WAIT!  I thought he was still administering the deadening agent.  Zowie!  That was such a relief!  And, then it was over.  The doctor told me that the tiny lump was located right next to my chest wall.  However, he said that the lump moved away from the wall when he touched it which means it was not attached to the wall.  He said that was a very good thing.  He also told me that, if the pathology results show that the lump is, in fact, cancer, it is for sure at Stage 1.

So, I am writing this blog on Sunday (St. Paddy's Day).  With luck, I will have the results by Tuesday.  Hoping for good news.  But mentally girding myself for bad news.  Final words for this blog:  PROTECT YOUR PELVIS AND LADIES, GET YOUR REGULAR MAMMOGRAMS!  Stay tuned for more.

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